Mama, mama, mama,...

With these words, Wee One has verbally acknowledged my presence (or lack thereof). I feel like I am officially her mom now that I have heard her wandering around the house uttering "mama, mama." Initially my dh had said it was a distress signal and that "dada" was the word for happiness.

Going to parents day out has really helped her express herself better to me. There is a little less frustration for her in trying to tell me what she wants. It is so interesting that children at this age can be so emphatic in expressing what they want in so few sounds and words they possess.

Sick of being sick

One of my favorite books as a child was, "The Sick of Being Sick Book." No wonder I went into healthcare! Anyway, I think it was one of those you order through the Scholastic book fair things.

Saturday, I woke up with no voice, well, a raspy, whispery voice, and just painful to do any more than that. I consider myself an introvert (less as less as I have gotten older and less inhibited/ more confident) but it was hard not to be able to talk / give orders to my dh esp (ha, ha, ha). I felt ok/ good energy level, etc., but would have a lot of coughing too. Yesterday was better, still coughing especially when I laid down in bed. I managed to get to work today and I would get coughing fits again esp around anyone who was smokey smelling or wore too much cologne. Especially after one really bad fit where I was coughing so bad I thought I would pee in my pants and was gasping for air, my nurse had had it with me. She came in and put the nebulizer machine on my desk and a vial of medicine for it, "TAKE IT" she ordered. Ok, physician heal thyself. Lo and behold it did help. Now I am an asthmatic in denial.

Oh crud

As you noted in the last blog entry I have been feeling out of sorts. I blamed it all on my mental weariness with my life. However yesterday I got dizzy and weak and dh noted I was burning up....ear thermometer read 101.2. Well, it wasn't all just mental, I was sick. Hacking cough, fever, lying about sick. Better today...but still a signal that my body has had it with my life as it has been the last few weeks. Nothing this weekend for me...nothing!!!

Vacay Oh yay

I have been day dreaming about sleeping by myself in a hotel room again. I usually pay some attention to my daydreams as I finally realized it my subconscious trying to tell me something. Maybe it is because one of my mom friends told me she took a week's vacation by herself in Mexico. Actually my 1st reaction to that was, NO WAY I could be gone that long....maybe a weekend at most. However, I heard my own voice say out loud...I thought that was only a mom fantasy. She is a SAHM with 2 kids, now over age 4 so I could rationalize that she REALLY needed it. But, I have been doing a lot lately, not necessarily mom stuff, but other stuff, so there is the reason for my daydream...I want some rest from my whole life. Just a night or 2.

But see the thing is that I just cancelled on a trip this summer that I could have taken by myself or with dh, but he thought we should take wee one too. I finally decided that because most of the trip involved many meetings I would have to attend sans family, that I could not devote any meaningful attention to either meetings or family so I let someone else have the opportunity. So now, after a talk with dh, my conclusion is that he and I will get away for a weekend somewhere to rest/ have fun while GP/ GM take care of wee one this summer. But (here's that BIG but again), can I spend one or 2 nights away from wee one? The irrational part of me thinks that if I am not there something will happen. Is that mommy guilt? Paranoia? Fear after going though ART to get this precious thing that I have to guard her 24/7? I think that is doable for me...just a short break.

Escuela

Wee One started Parents Day Out at the local church Monday...I was so anxious...my baby's starting school. I packed a lunch, bought a nap roll, and hoped that she would enjoy it (I had a feeling she would). She did very well apparently and we have day #2 tomorrow. She has been ready to interact with other kids and this is a good opportunity to do that. We cut our nanny's hours (and pay) back to 3 days a week and I hope everything works out. So far, no complaints from nanny or baby yet.

Family bed question

Ok, I am going to ask a question that I have been wondering about. A lot of my friends/ acquaintances have asked me about how to get their kid out of the family bed. I occasionally mention that we didn't really do this because of the apnea monitor in the early days so our child has always been in a separate bed (was in our room until 5 months of age and then moved to her own room).

As far as advice on getting kids into their own beds, I try to do my best as I am a medical expert type person in my profession(please note I did NOT say parent expert). However, since I do not personally have the experience, I need some help. I think I could answer/ help these people better if I could understand how it all works in the 1st place.

So in the family bed situation, does everyone go to sleep at the same time? Does the baby/ kid get put down 1st? Are naps there too? Does the child start out somewhere else and end up there? Like in our house, the baby goes to bed at 8pm and we go about 10:30 or later, so I am having trouble figuring out who is where and when.

Oh yeah, Mommy blogs!

I was reading a comment over on Baby in a corner's blog and learned this word, "Mommy blog." That is a cool word. In the spirit of this being one of those, one of those who thought she might never be someone's MOMMY, here's my latest MOM discoveries.

1. The Nuby lids fit on Avent bottles. I like the Nuby tops but the bottle was too big for Wee One to handle so I discovered this wonderful option! She still has a hold of her "bottle" but it is not a bottle, it is a sippy cup now (ha, ha, ha...)

2. Thank you God for putting kind people in the path of my almost two year old and me. The ever harried checker at Wally World stopped her crying by handing her the plastic easter eggs I bought. Then he smiled and we all had a brief break from the craziness of the express check out.

3. If you get a sandbox for the backyard, expect to find sand everywhere. EVERYWHERE! In the house, in the car, in the diaper, etc.

Good Housekeeping/ Idiocracy

#1 - This month's issue of Good Housekeeping (with supercool Jada Pinkett, heavy metal rocker, movie star mom on the cover) include the 2nd installment (I missed the 1st installment) of the fertility chronicles. It follows 3 white, married women in the Washington state area as they try/ get pregnant. Interesting stuff, although I get confused who is who sometimes. One is going through IUI, possible about to think about IVF.

#2 - There is a recently released movie called "Idiocracy" with Super hottie Luke Wilson and super funny Maya Rudolph that has the most hilarious and biting comedic section about having babies. It compares the upper-middle class white, educated, snooty couple vs the white"oh shit, I am pregnant again" trailer trash folks.

Office Talk

I had a pause in the middle of a busy day this week and was visiting with one of the drug reps that stopped by. I know many of them well as they have been in the business for many years. This one was one of the newer ones and I am not even sure I could tell you what she sells. She invited me to a evening dinner program and I declined telling her I didn't get out in the evening much due to having a little kid at home. She asked me how old and I told her, thinking it was just the usual polite conversation. She said she was trying to get pregnant (up to IUI) and I mentioned it had taking me some effort to do so. Then she said she had been trying for 4 years. I told her I did IVF. We talked some more and she said that she was so glad I talked to her about my wonderful RE as she had been wondering if that was the next step. As she is under 30, I reassured her that it probably wouldn't be that big a deal but that it was important to make sure there weren't any diseases/ conditions that might need to be treated. She said all her friends got pregnant left and right and of course, this had made her feel even more worried. I told her I was much older when I started and that prayer and friends that understood helped a lot. I told her about the emotional highs and lows that I experienced, and looking into her eyes, I knew she had had some of that already.

It's all fun until someone gets bitten

Wee One and I were exercising today, me doing yoga and her lounging in her easy chair that plays soothing new agey music. I was finishing trying to bend my once flexible body into different positions (off balance tree, half open gate, barely a half cobra, and wobbly warrior pose 1). I finally laid on my back to rest phase and she came over to sit on my tummy and giggle. We sang songs and clapped her hands to "If your happy and you know it." On touch your nose she gamely played along and on the 3rd time we sang it she picked her nose and grinned mischeviously at me. She put her head to my chest and giggled. And then she BIT ME. There is just a thin layer of skin and connective tissue between world and my ribs. I managed to get her to let go and then I clutched my hand to my chest to go look in the mirror to see if I was bleeding or some vital organ was exposed. As I scurried down the hall towards the bathroom mirror, I ran into my DH who proclaimed it to be a love bite without any hemorrhaging. At least it is low enough to be covered by a shirt so people don't think I got a hickey.

There I've said it

I want another kid. In spite of yesterday's vomiting child, spoiled milk, up at 5:30 AM kind of day, I want to have another child. No big surprise to anyone, but I want to say it out loud, put it down in writing on this blog, exclaim it to the universe, my request. Another one would be great. I would even love a bigger family (I think?!)

I don't know if I am ready like go see the RE ready, but in my head I am beginning to formulate that if the old fashion way doesn't work in 6 months more, and I feel the same way, I will head to the RE. I started seeing the RE when I was 32, now I am 36. Am I ready yet? Am I strong enough?

Trapped in AI land

Hi guys...sorry for limited posting recently. Our household has been obsessed with American Idol lately. We got the Karaoke revolution game for the playstation and it has been SO MUCH FUN. Even tonight as we were watching Blake Lewis sing Keane's "Somewhere only we know" we were wondering where the crowd meter and crowd boost bars were...sign of too much video gaming!

Plans, plans

The wee one is ready for some outside stimulation so my plan is to put her in Mothers Day out at one of the local churches. She is one the waiting list at 2 places currently. I was going to keep the nanny and send her 2 days a week to Parents day out. One of my friends says a lot of moms use 2 mothers day outs to create 4 days a week and dispense with the baby sitter. That is one idea, but I am not sure it will work for us. At least not right now. The other option is daycare, but maybe when she is older. So many possibilites. At least we are lucky to have possibilities.

Catch up

Well, we are settling into our new house and I am enjoying it very much. After some mourning for the old one and seeing it empty of our things, I knew it was time to move on. There is finally space for all of our things, esp all the baby stuff. There aren't any houses across the street so it feeling like we are way out in the country.

Wee one is thriving aside from the runny nose/ cold every 2 weeks. She is doing more communication with hand signals lately. Such as patting me on the butt to get me to get up from the chair to go get her something!

I am going to have to discuss naps with our nanny. She likes to take wee one out to the mall or her daughter's house (my good friend) and I think we are getting limited nap time. I am personally a fan of naps in her bed, at least an hour so I am going to have to discuss this with her. She is pretty easy going as far as other issues I have brought up with her and does what I tell her to do. I guess I need to give more directions sometimes. Any nanny advice is appreciated.

Feed the Cats

Bottle

The next to the last silicone Avent nipple has torn and been tossed into the trash. Now that we are down to 1 nipple, I am faced with the question. Do I go buy more nipples or just wait for the last one to wear out and venture into the the land of all sippy cups all the time? Wee One can deftly drink out of anything...bottles, cups, straws, stray 7-up cans my dh leaves lying around...etc. But here's the thing, the LEAST messy for her to handle is the Avent bottles that she has been using since birth (She also had boobie for 5 months but that is a distant memory...mammary?!!...hahaha, excuse me).

We have all the different sippy cups, but Mommy who likes to look for the easiest most convenient delivery system of milk esp in the AM when she is not awake yet, loves the bottle. She is almost 19 months and this would be a good time to make this transition. Much to my own mother's dismay I never made a habit of putting her to bed with a bottle...yes I just stick her in there, put the blanket on, turn off the light and some nights she cries....just a little and never for more than a few minutes. Most sippy cups are just glorified bottles in my opinion. The books are so unrealistic in the no bottle after 1 year rule, but I have felt like such a lazy parent for continuing to use them.

Cocoon

I have been in the cocoon of my house and family all weekend. The artic cold came thru here and today's and yesterday's highs were 29 degrees. Not much in the mood to go out as Wee One is getting over bronchitis and it have been more fun to stay inside and cook and bake and watch TV. Thank goodness this only happens once in a while or else I would weigh a lot more. I do have to emerge tomorrow to go to work, but at least I'll have some good leftovers for lunch.

Time to let go

While I have been excited to be moving to a newer, bigger house, there is a part of me that wondering if this is the right thing to do. The current house suits us pretty well but we are outgrowing it. It is a nice size but the layout and lack of backyard that were ideal 7 years ago when I was a single gal are now with 2 cats, dh, and wee one, and more frequent guest visits (grandparents) it is time to move. I am pretty attached to the currently house most days as it was my 1st house I bought, one of the reasons I got to know my dh (he was my housesitter for a month when I was away on fellowship), and there are so many good memories that have been made here.

I know psychologically it will be good for dh and I to buy a house together and it not be only "MY" house anymore. And I know that we will enjoy the new house with all its space and 2007 amenities and large backyard. For the most part the new construction has gone releatively smoothly other than me picking out a white color for the crown molding that now seems to have a purple tint (lavendar) and that we are going to be very, very close on the completion of the house before closing. Maybe it is just cold feet...ha,ha,ha it was like this before I got married! I'm going to keep praying about this.

Fun at the park

It was a bit chilly today, but with the sun out, it was really nice. Wee one and I went to bring lunch to dh at work and then headed over to the park nearby. I have been wanting to take her there, but didn't get a chance until now. It a newer park, built to be accessible to all kids so I wanted to check it out. Wee one played happily and slid down the slide with glee at least 8 times. She applauded another kid (bigger, older) when he slid down too. I looked around the park. It is bordered by the hospital where wee one was born to the south, my RE's office to the southwest, my OB's office to the east, and the high risk OB's office to the west. I last stood here when I was visiting wee one in the NICU one day, wondering about when I could bring her here to play. After the 10th time down the slide, I took wee one (crying all the way to the car) home. We'll be back.

Life 2007

Well, here I am, smack dab in January 2007. The holidays are over, the presents are opened, and the visiting family has departed. The weather has been cold and rainy and life has resumed its normal schedule. The BIG things happening right now concern shelter and job. We are waiting for our new house to be finished and we will be homeless on January 26 if it is not done by then. All fingers and toes are crossed and prayers are being said daily for all to work out. My dh is interviewing for a new job tomorrow and is planning to leave his family's business. He is going to return to his orginal field of work and utilize his college degree again. It is a time of change.