Sunday, April 01, 2007

Family bed question

Ok, I am going to ask a question that I have been wondering about. A lot of my friends/ acquaintances have asked me about how to get their kid out of the family bed. I occasionally mention that we didn't really do this because of the apnea monitor in the early days so our child has always been in a separate bed (was in our room until 5 months of age and then moved to her own room).

As far as advice on getting kids into their own beds, I try to do my best as I am a medical expert type person in my profession(please note I did NOT say parent expert). However, since I do not personally have the experience, I need some help. I think I could answer/ help these people better if I could understand how it all works in the 1st place.

So in the family bed situation, does everyone go to sleep at the same time? Does the baby/ kid get put down 1st? Are naps there too? Does the child start out somewhere else and end up there? Like in our house, the baby goes to bed at 8pm and we go about 10:30 or later, so I am having trouble figuring out who is where and when.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know, I was going to ask you what you thought too. Here's our situation in a nutshell:
Smacky slept in own crib in own room until we moved to a new house at 6 months, when we put the crib in our room (with the intent of a few months) as his bedroom was a little too far away for our comfort. During the night when he'd wake up, during S' shifts he'd just start bringing Smacky to bed to get him back to sleep because it was easier...and there we are. Still, at 21 months. At about 7:30 every night we start the "down process" - pajamas, brush teeth, read a book. I'll lay with Smacky in our bed until he falls asleep - this can run anywhere from 10 - 40 minutes. Then I'll leave him and return when I decide to go to bed. During the day, he naps on the couch at my MIL's house; when here, the sitter (and myself) have had good success getting him to nap in his own bed in his own bedroom. He's becoming more comfortable there and we're gearing up for a stab at the nighttime soon.
I can't wait to get this kid into his own bed...I kind of feel like I have to, for his own good. When the twins get here, if he's still in our room they will most certainly keep him up all night - not a good situation.
I don't know if our situation is typical, but that's where we're at with all this. I'll take any advice you want to dish out.

Erica Kain said...

That's an interesting topic -- I've always wondered the same thing, what are the logistics of sharing a bed with your child?
Thanks for sharing your situation, Frances!

Also, when does one "get it on" with one's spouse in those situations???

Chebbles has never been interested in sleeping in the same bed with me. There is only one time since she was three months old that she willingly slept in a bed with me, it was a nap at a hotel and I'm still reminiscing about that time!

Toffee said...

I have no specific advice on this issue other than the goal that everyone is getting enough sleep. Medically there is no correct answer other than that either. It is really the preference of the parents...so if you want your kid to sleep in their own bed, that is challenge to take on. I know a lot of people cannot tolerate crying, esp dramatic crying...but I think that a few nights of ignoring it (barring mishap or dirty diaper) is a small price for better sleep for everyone.