Mom daughter mall time

Yesterday I had an unexpected day off from work due to a miscommunication with dh. It turned out to be great because wee one and I got to go shopping. Not just any shopping, but post-Christmas 60-80% off shopping. We got shoes, jeans, pants, shirts from different cool kids places and ate gyros in the food court. We sure did have fun together. Reminded me of when my mom and I used to go except that wee one primarily communicates with me in non verbal ways. At Gymboree she found the TV area and happily watched Elmo and played with the other kids as all the moms frantically poked thru the sale racks. Such fun! I finally got her some pants that fit her. Turns out she is 12-18 months on bottom and 18-24/ 2T on the top. No more sets for her...only seperates until everything evens out. At Old Navy we got comfy pants, jean pants, cargo pants, stretch pants...so fashionable in such small sizes.

Post-Christmas

1. I hate writing thank you notes. I have been raised properly and have this compulsion to write thank you notes. It is the right thing to do. While I agree with the sentiment and acknowledgement of another's thoughtfulness or generosity, I hate the chore of it. No matter how much I break it down. I think it has been worse since going through a 400 guest wedding and a 150 guest baby shower.

2. I hate overeating. Of course I want to try all the goodies that come with parties and dinners. And while I have a pretty good internal "it's time to stop" I find myself regretting a few things (or many things) I have eaten these last 2 weeks. My favorite hor derve so far...mushroom pastries by Nancy (frozen)....fungus have to be healthy, right?

3. I hate being on someone else's schedule. Family gatherings are wonderful, but I don't get much control as to when and what is happening like I do in usual life. Meal times, nap times, all are at the whims of traditions, family members, people who drop in, etc.

4. I hate the guilt of taking time off from work to do above things. I have to remind myself in the big picture, it doesn't matter how much I work, but how much life I got to live.

5. I hate being negative but this is one of the few places I can let down the fake smiles and cheer to vent it out. And, yes I feel better now...ready to get on with life.

Spoon

Tonight we went to Grandma's house and ate beef stew for dinner. Wee one was poking her spoon in her bowl as usual. She likes to poke it in her food and has been more interested lately in it, but most of her eating is still by hand. I gave her a few spoons of soup and then I started eating. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her dipping her spoon in, lifting it up to her lips and sipping her soup with very little dripping off the edges. She did this over and over again and even got some of the vegetables in. She took her square of cornbread and broke it into piece and dropped then into her soup. Then she spoon up the bread soaked soup to eat. She ate a lot...perhaps a growth spurt or perhaps the novelty of using a utensil to get food in. So cool!

The joys of motherhood

I am really liking this age of childhood right now. Wee one is cute, funny, talktative (baby babble...nothing is actually in plain American English), and all around entertaining and easily entertained. She walks, she sleeps at night, and when she eats, it is fun to watch how much she can pack away. Today I gave her some soup and afterwards she took the bowl and spoon and "fed" me. Later on, I saw her trying to feed her stuffed bear. I tried to get a picture, but she saw me and wanted the camera.

Superbitchy

Yesterday I had a meltdown. It was the last day of Aunt Flo, dh & I went to Target for some early Xmas Shopping, I had a nice lunch, I picked out paint colors for the new house, and all was well. Then wee one had bubbly noises in her pants and I unwrapped them to be greeted with DIARRHEA. I undressed her and gave her a bath. DH came in to ask me if I was sure it was diarrhea and I told him I could take the dripping diaper out of the wastecan if he wished to see it. Then I started crying.

He, of course, was my dh, having witnessed a few of my hormonal imbalances once before was comforting and gave me hugs through the rest of the day even when I was really, really trying to bite his head off. He said I had been thorough a lot of things (sickness, foot injury, family gatherings) this past week. I babbled on about how much I missed the Christmases of my childhood church (as we attend his family's church, it is really, really different...no Advent, no candles, no music, nothing but a modern auditorium), and how I didn't think I could create the uber-Christmas festivals his Mom created (and still creates) each year...we have no tree as I gave ours away thinking we'd be moving by now and getting a new one. He reminded me that I was doing fine and that he didn't expect any uber Christmas festivals, etc. and that if it helped we could attend my style of church as needed. He is the best.

I am ok today after some sleep and candy and spending some $$ at the Nordstrom website. I think I was just worn out.

Toddler food

Wee one is currently eating a chocolate Power Bar (dh's breakfast of choice). I know, bad mom, will have hyper toddler for the next few hours. Make me think wistfully of the days of breast vs. formula.