The long weekend/ Random thoughts

Just changed a poopy diaper while trying not to barf and convince a small cute person to take a nap so she won't be crabby when G-ma comes to babysit tonight. WHEE! I am off to see Indiana Jones tonight and I am so happy to be thinking about how Harrison Ford looks with his whip and not about my sorry state of being.
Most of the town seems to be around...I think gas prices make people think twice about traveling. We really need to invent those teleportation devices. But then we would not have those wonderful car trip memories. (Mom yelling at my sister and I to quit singing so loudly. Stops at Stuckey's to drink icy cokes. Rest area bathrooms. Mc Donald's apple pies.) That's why we have children...to relive some of those times and so they can have some of those experiences.
One of my hobbies is to read People/ MSN celeb gossip. Last time I was pregnant Britney was too. This time I get to share the spotlight with Angelina. I do think she is cool...but somehow I feel like she is one of those people who are like, "HA! Pregnant! Yeah and with TWINS! I am SO MUCH COOLER than YOU!" (Not that I want twins, but it's the idea of it). I guess I had better rent my French chateau and get my helicopter on standby for my labor. That just sounds like a scary idea to me. I really like being able to drive 4 miles down the road to the hospital and get it all done there with the NICU team on alert.

Low energy

Having some ups and downs lately...emotionally more down. I see signs of depression and this of course makes me worry more. But why? Why not, as I think about it. No major problems, but little annoying things that are adding up. While I am elated that I will be having #2, my life has been really different lately.

1. Physical discomforts - as described in recent posts.
2. Emotional instability due to hormonal fluctuations
3. Tall 2 1/2 year old who has taken to sleeping with me every night.
4. Sleeping earlier/ more than usual
5. Fears and worries about what can/ can't happen
6. A feeling of being stuck for the next year or 2 and having no life.
7. Restriction on travel (partly self imposed, partly due to lack of energy).
8. Lack of marital conooduling due to 2 1/2 year old in bed (quickies just aren't the same as nightly talking and cuddling).
9. Possible work issues that may be beyond my control.
10. My thyroid may be out of whack.

Each part of my life is fulfilling and great, but together it is all wearing me out. There is a bit of hope as my ILs have agreed to give us babysitting and hotel points to a brief weekend getaway. I know a change of scenery will help. This actually all may have started even before #2 due to a very hectic winter at work and my own melancholy sometimes for a more jet set life.
I find myself being envious of other's lives that don't involve care of small children. What a thing to be thinking huh for someone who has had infertility struggles you say. I want to snap out of it but I need to deal with these feelings. One way is to blog about it, talk to my dh and friends about it, and get some help.

Getting old

This progesterone poisoning is getting kind of old. I was pretty good yesterday and then ate lunch (evil, but oh so delicious cheese covered fries!) and was tired from that point on. At 9pm I drank some water and then proceeded to lose my dinner. I have never barf/ burped before...totally disgusting. My wee one was really pissed at me for not paying her any attention and she came in while I was hugging porcelain and said, "Oh, yucky cough." Poor thing. I think I am too old for this.

I cheered up a bit today when I saw a friend that I haven't seen for a while and she confirmed the rumor that she was pregnant. 6 months pregnant and she didn't know she was! Her kids will be 15 months apart! Brave girl. It took her a long time to have #1 and it involved icky infertility stuff. She bragged, "no shots this time!"

My stomach wants to be French/ Vietnamese

I woke up with a crazy craving for the Vietnamese Bahn Mi type sandwich. I was salivating in my bed this morning about the wonderful crusty french bread that it is made on. I went to the grocery store and assembled the ingredients (I have never made this) as there is no vietnamese place within a 250 mile radius. I already got into the bread and am having cheese with it. Perhaps a glass of wine? No I don't like wine, but have a hankering for grapes. Mmmmm...I think I need more bread. I have never even been to a real French restaurant unless you count the chain La Madeline (hq in Dallas, TX). But I have eaten escargot....yummmy garlic sauce... These hormones are really nutty!

Insomnia/ Homer Simpson

Insomnia again...mostly due to a large 2 year old's head abutting against my upper back/ neck area tonight. She and dh were sleeping in her room (he on the floor by accident keeping her company while she fell asleep) but at 3am they both came trundling into the master suite where mommy was sleeping peacefully. So I have a million things running thru my head now so I thought I would just do some catch up (charge cell phone, email, etc.).

I looked at my naked self from waist up today. I totally look like Homer Simpson. Everything is pouchy. Perhaps I can blame it all on the pregnancy, but I suspect all the lazing about and take out food is not really helping. I did cook tonight, but I used a new seasoning mix that is still stuck on my tongue (ick) but is fading out. I think a lot of my crabiness is that I can't drink soft drinks and haven't been able to for the last month due to horrible heartburn. When someone is as clean living as me (no smoking no drinking), my one soda a day was my pleasure. At least I can eat doughnuts, DUH!