Still here

Well, I am still pregnant and still struggling somewhat. I just got over a stomach virus (yuk) that I was blaming on the baby, but the arrival of diarrhea changed that thought. But yesterday (better) and today (much better) I am seeing some hope. I went to get a pedicure today and got petted and fretted over by the ladies there (my friend owns the day spa/ salon). It was nice to primp a bit. Makes me feel almost normal again. Mom is coming and I hope just her presence will help perk me up (Dad too). I am very lucky that I still have healthy parents that will come and visit me anytime.

Sad

I opened the paper 2 days ago and saw a picture of a girl I went to college with in the obituaries. My heart skipped a beat and I exclaimed, "Oh my God!" I had not seen her since college and found out she had been killed by a drunk driver. The funeral was yesterday and I really wanted to go, but I felt like I am too emotional right now and didn't want to draw attention to myself. I did go by the church later to run and errand and saw some of the flowers that had fallen to the sidewalk. It made me cry. I see her parents around town every once in a while and I cannot imagine what they are going through. You never expect your child to go before you. I would give my life up for my child to live on.

Finding new things about myself

You'd think I would know myself pretty well by now, at 37 years. But each day I am discovering new stuff I didn't know.
1. I am incredibly incontinent in these past few days...everything makes me pee. And I HATE the smell of urine.
2. I tried to eat "healthy" stuff yesterday, fruit, some soda crackers and I barfed like a freshman at a frat party. Then my dh picked the spicy chicken wing place for his father's day dinner and I ate 6 spicy wings, queso, gobs of blue cheese dressing, and greasy fries and was happy as a clam.
3. I try to do too many things by myself and need to ask for more help. I think part of me is still trying to be a "grown-up" and seeing how much I can handle.
4. I am nuts for taking a 2 year old to a tire store to wait 2 hours to get my flat tire fixed. However, wee one did fine and we are all ok.
5. I am more considerate of others than myself. I have been debating how much maternity leave (6 weeks? 8 weeks? do I dare wish for more?) to take and I was just advising a co-worker..."You should definately take 3 months at least."

Good report

Went to OB's office and saw Banana swimming along in there. I saw little fingers wave at me!!!! Everything is going well...my diabetes is not acting up, blood pressure is good, thyroid is stable. So weird for me to hear that everything is fine. He did suggest some Prevacid for my GI problems so here' s hoping. I ate lunch with a friend who is 6 weeks ahead of me and she said she stated feeling normal again at 15 weeks. I asked if I would be going to the high risk guy for the 19 week ultrasound and my doc said, "Oh, we can do it here or we can do it there." This is so different from the last pregnancy it is really blowing my mind.

Bunco has been a nice activity for me. Some girls at my church started it about the time I had Wee One. I didn't know anyone very well, but I wanted to get to know some people with kids/ babies. Most of the evening is spent eating as we each bring finger foods to share. Alcohol is not a part of the church doctrine so we get jiggy with green ice tea or sodas. The Youth Minister's wife went crazy with the blender one time and we did have some kind of slushy drink with umbrellas. The game it self is pretty mindless and involves simple counting. That allows for us to talk and tell crazy stories while we play. (Like the time one of the mom's had to call Poison Control because her 1 year old ate some of the K-Y jelly in her nightstand...and it was the warming kind). At the end of the evening we get prizes according to our scores. Pretty laid back and most of the group have young kids with a few already teenagers. We stick with a time frame of 1.5 hours once a month because our dh's/ kids await our services for bedtime/ etc.

Barftholmew

I am tossing around that name for my next child as well as tossing my cookies. It is NOT GETTING BETTER. I am going to go to see my OB tomorrow to complain. Dh is trying to cheer me up by saying that me being sick might mean less or no days in NICU. That would be fine with me but I am growing weary of the porcelain embrace. I almost am nuts enough to worrying about a conditioned response...that everytime I go near my lovely master bath suite I have to get prepared. I always have to pee 1st because if I don't I have both urinary incontinence and upchucking. I know, I know, TMI, TMI!!! It is just too humiliating and gross that I have to share. I have been so out of everything that I didn't know postage just went up and I sent out a bunch of invitations for Bunco night...how embarassing. When will there be mercy shown upon me?