Back to the Boobies

MSB was a bit inconsolable the other night which is very unusual for her so far. She is a very tranquil, contented baby the majority of the time. So I checked her our, cuddled, changed diaper, etc and I knew she wasn't hungry as she had polished off a bottle 1/2 hour before. Finally, a bit reluctantly (with a series of flashbacks to never ending nursing sessions, bleeding cracked nipples, plugged ducts, sprays of milk going across the room, mastitis, the intimate relationship with the pump ---electric and cool hand held avent model, trudging around with the stained boppy pillow, resenting my baby and dh for getting me into this, hating myself for having those feelings, and me running away from my dh every time he got near my chest) I put the baby to my breast and she latched on. Ooooo, ow, ahhhhh....she was sucking away and I actually got the relaxed, stoned feeling that nursing moms love.

The milk is flowing (I totally could be wet nurse) but I am going to do this mainly for comfort and around the planned schedule for when I go back to work. No pumping....at all. I figure 2-3 sessions a day is better than none at all. To go totally boob all the time is something I cannot handle without going crazy.