Why does it have to be this hard?

Last few days have been alternating between worried/stressed and whatever will happen, will happen. I am still feeling pregnant...tired, hungry, crying at any kind of touching or sentimental commericials/ movies. This morning I woke up feeling very heavy in my limbs and tired. Small brown mucous discharge appeared in my underwear, but no blood. I usually get something like this before my period, but I recall I had stuff like this and even bright red bleeding in my last pregnancy. I googled and came up with this reassuring statement: That is usually "old blood" tht is being pushed out of the uterus by the growing fetus. Also I had relations yesterday so maybe it is from that...However in light of the fact that I am not sure what is really going on, I am worried/ scared. The sermon at church helped---it was about fear and how to be reassured that God will be with us through it all. I am waiting for my 2nd beta...done yesterday. I am definitely in the WTF...why me...kind of mood...sucks. I think I am going to call my RE tomorrow and make an appointment... I want to get on with my life...but then I realize this is my life.