WIMPY ASS MOTHER SPEAKING

Well, we completed our 1st airplane trip with Wee One to visit grandparents who live 500 miles away. We survived a 3 hour delay (thankfully waiting was done in the open spaciousness of the terminal and not trapped in a plane) and orange level security and presenting our baby bottle of milk at the security checkpoint to be scrutinized. I am not sure I can do it again. I really like the flexibility of car travel and I am physically tired from the baby and stuff lugging around. Planes are really cramped and not too fun with a wiggly toddler either. Her bottle rolled under my seat and under the feet of the lady behind me. Wee One saw it and cried for it. I did some kind of body contortion and had to dive head first to try to get it. Then the lady behind me had to help. I should have sent Wee One to get it.

YES, I AM A WIMPY ASS MOTHER. So for all those who backpack with their kids thru Europe and trek in the African jungle and jetset to New Zealand, I applaud you but I cannot be you. Actually we were jetsetters in a way as we traveled to attend my sister's engagement party....Wee One Paris Hilton!

Bon Appetit

This post is in response to a question by Frances on what our kids are eating these days and how to help them eat more/ better. As you will see, I will be reading, with interest, the responses to her post.

This week, my wee one is eating:

Fruit Loops (must be dropped onto the carpet and then picked up into her hand and then shoved into her mouth so she can barely chew)

Grapes (halved by Mom to avoid choking). Currently she is limited to 8 grapes a sitting to avoid gastric upset/ diarrhea diapers.

Small spoonfuls of rice or oatmeal (no more than 3-4 a meal)

Eggs, just the yolks please

Frozen, Italian Style Meatballs simmered in tomato sauce or sweet and sour sauce

Ice cream (fed by Daddy or Mommy)

Macaroni and Cheese. Prefers to pick up in hand by herself.

Small trees of Broccoli (must be simmered on stove with a bit of chicken broth...does not like microwaved kind)

Nutter Butter bite sized cookies pilfered out of large bag in pantry

Milk/ Hot Chocolate/ Juicy Juice Fruit Punch/ Yoplait Yogurt Nouriche Smoothie (bought by mommy in hopes of completing missing nutrients in diet)

Gummy Bear vitamins(limited to one per day when Mommy remembers to give them to her)

Hello Kitty Fruit Juice flavored Gummy snacks (ate almost whole mini bag in one sitting before Mommy realized and took away, loud, angry crying with hot tears followed)

(Please don't turn me into the nutrition police)

Dude, where's my house

Well, everyone can say "we told you so." I checked in with the builders and they are far from 45 days of completion of the new house. I can really blame anyone except that the local economy is so good that it is hard to find people (subcontractors) to do stuff and enough employees to do it. They said, more like 60 days. Well, I'll add +15 to that. I talked to the realtor and decided after getting 2 offers less than asking price, we will take the house off for a while until it looks like our new house might be ready. I want to sell, but not now and be homeless/ having to move twice...yikes. So it is some relief actually to be able to leave my stuff scattered about in my own home and having some more time to deal with all these matters.

Do you see a theme? I am always so impatient for everything...I guess I have that strong, urgent lifeforce thing going on. But I can readjust and deal with it.

Walkin around

Nanny MIA/ Sweating the small stuff

It has been 4 days since the nanny has been at work. She had a family emergency that she was out for and I just got a call that she will not be in tomorrow. I am grateful to have her daughter as a back-up for tomorrow as my back-up (MIL) is out of town. She is usually very realiable, on time, but every few months, I have to deal with her family emergencies and trips to Mexico. (She is a citizen of US but has family there). The baby does very well with her and is always happy to see her so I am grateful for that.

So, so far the baby in my care with MIL's help this past week, we are doing well. It actually helped me with my stress to be focused mostly on her. Why and I stressed you ask? I keep asking myself that and then I think about it:

1. Selling current house and it just went MLS so everyone wants to see it. So must keep it tidy and clean...v.v. difficult with small toddler scattering things and DH who leaves different articles of clothing (esp shoes) all over house.

2. Building new house and every choice we make for the house costs us more $$$

3. Work is getting busy and have new employee I have been training.

4. Keep getting minor colds/ viral illnesses (mouth apthous ulcers). have sore neck muscle and only today could I turn to look behind me and when passing cars while driving

5. Crabby, PMS feelings, interspersed with spikes of horniness (DH has been happy about that), spotting menstrual cycle that has no pattern

So, nothing major, but these little things add up.

Anger Management

I woke up in the early hours of the morning with my fists clenched and my mind filled with angry dreams. This morning I was dreaming about the pain of my spouse cheating on me. My 1st marriage ended in this kind of miserable circumstance, public, private pain and suffering. I was so angry and certain that all men (except my Dad and a few kind exceptions) were all out to screw women over. My current spouse and I have a very different kind of relationship (i.e. healthy most days) from my 1st marriage. I don't think the dream was about him personally but about the idea of losing trust in men because of their penises.

As I lay there this morning in the dark room while everyone else slept, I thought, I hated feeling this angry. I hate it that I ever had to feel this way. In my dream, I was thinking that I was not sure I could go thru that kind of experience again. I would survive, but it was fatiguing even to think about it. As I became more lucid, I thought about going thru that horrible experience (I gave up living close to my family, gave up living in a bigger, more cosmopolitan city) and how it actually had to happen. It had to happen in order for me to live the life I live today. That horrible experience of finding out my own husband was cheating and lying and the difficult divorce that followed was a life changing moment for me. I thought my life was completely over, dead, but a new life was beginning for me. A happier, healthier, more normal life with a loving husband and beautiful daughter. No lies, no secrets, no hiding emotions, no worries that my husband will fly off the handle if I said the wrong thing or didn't pour his drink the right way. No more phone calls every 2 hours to check in on me. A life where I can be myself, say, do, think, eat what I choose. I look back and I am not even sure who that woman 7 years ago was.

I have been trying to figure out why I dreamt this, and the only thing is that I have a new (male) employee that had started a few weeks ago. I have finished training/ orientation with him, and about to let him work more independently. I have to trust him working under my license and so far he has been great except for a slight wobble yesterday in which I had to come in and do my thing. Maybe that all it was about. Hope I get a better nights sleep tonight. Or maybe it was my hormones...ha, ha. ha

Falling down, getting up

For some reason the last few days I have been a bit disoriented. Tonight I feel like I am not sure what is going on, like I am in the dark. It may have something to do with me losing a key to unlock a storage shed in the back of my house (full of junk for my upcoming garage sale) or maybe the fact that the baby is transforming into a toddler right before my eyes. She has been taking a few steps here and there, mostly crawling up until about 2 days ago when she started toddling around on her own 2 feet. At the padded play area at the local mall, she was practically running, albeit, walking, running, falling, getting back up, running, climbing, etc. My mind seems to be mirroring her physical development right now. I took her there again today to the mall just to watch the joy in her face as she ran around and played.