Still hacking up bits of cloudy phlegm and hoping July will be a healthier month for me. I made it through hosting 2 birthday parties and houseguests and finally my body call it quits on Sunday. I holed up at a friend's QUIET guestroom on Monday to rest, recover and answer text messages from work. OBTW, Julie/ Julia is a great book...
So in my delirious, fever/ chills state, I finally realized...hey, I can't do this any more. I have been having several fleeting and obvious thought intrusions about this. My life is not working very well, I am not sleeping very much (still 2-3 feedings between 10pm and 7am), and I am starting to not like taking care of/ being around my kids/ dh/ cats/ job/ friends/ etc. I even thought about going to therapy, but I didn't have time in my schedule.
So I sucked it up and called my boss and asked for some schedule changes for work. He said he wasn't surprised and told me to just do what I need to do right now. I am also learning how to delegate more at home (thanks Mom for the advice, sorry I was so defensive and snarky when you mentioned it to me). I actually let the babysitter go to pick up Lou Lou while I drifted off to sleep for a bit of a nap with HD.
So, now I have scheduled in some me time, some exercise time, some more time to get what I need to do in my life. I supposed it's hard because of that fact I spent from age 6 to age 35 devoted obsessively to school/ work and a lot of my self worth seems to be wrapped up in that. I really need to get over myself and grow up.
No comments:
Post a Comment